- Is a writer living in Southern California. Her work has been published in places like The Collagist,
- PANK, Hobart, The Rumpus, The Chicago Review, Smokelong Quarterly and Wigleaf.
- "Normally Special," a collection of stories, is available from Tiny Hardcore Press. (http://www.tinyhardcorepress.com/)
- Her chapbook, "Billie the Bull" is available from from Dzanc Books.( http://www.dzancbooks.org/billie-the-bull-by-xtx/)
- She says nothing at www.notimetosayit.blogspot.com
Things In My Purse(s)
I had one main purse and then I got a new purse for my birthday to which I transferred some of my main purse items. I am still test-driving the new purse so I haven’t moved everything over yet in case I decide I don’t like the new purse. So most of the ‘crap’ items are still in my ‘main purse’ and I’m afraid of what I will find in there.
Here is how it breaks out, in exactly the order I pulled the shit out:
► New Purse
- -A root beer barrel candy (I will never eat this, I hate root beer, some man handed it to me so I would go into his candy store. I was polite and just took it and put it in my purse.)
- -A mini pump hair spray thing
- -Urban Decay Super Saturated Lip gloss thing
- -A Bad Feminist keychain
- -An afro pick
- -A silica gel pack
- -Another root beer barrel candy.
- -A Slicks Sun Glaze lip gloss
- -An ELF lipstick Cheeky color
- -4 quarters and a penny and a dime
- -A pink nail polish just for thumbnails
- -My wallet
- -A shopping list.
- -A piece of paper my boss gave me with my promotion ‘details’ on it
- -A gift card to Massage Envy (also from my birthday)
- -A sleep mask
- -A ‘thinking about you” note from the niceface Lisa Mecham.
- -A long strap that goes on the purse if you want to make it have a long strap
- -A pack of Mentos
- -A Tiffany pouch
- -A small bottle of CVS cold remedy
- -A loosely crumpled bunch of tissues.
- -A large bottle of Bamboo Uplifting Root Blast
- -A crumpled sticky note with a shopping list scribbled on it
- -A tampon
- -A blue hair band
- -A pen
- -A bottle of diet pills
- -A bottle of thyroid medication
- -Two Barnes and Noble gift cards (from my birthday)
- -My iphone
- -A penny
- -An empty heart-shaped tin of mints from Victoria’s Secret
- -A Starbucks gift card
- -A Smashbox lipstick Dream color
- -A finger tip band aid bandage thing
- -Fifteen cents
- -A matchbox from Atticus Books with Steve Himmer’s “The BeeLoud Glade” artwork on it.
- -A handwritten receipt for a book dated 8/21/13
- -A tiny bottle of Red Door perfume
- -A matchbook from Cole’s in LA
- -A contact lens thing
- -A graphite heart that is anatomically correct shape.
- -23 cents
- -A small silver metal knob thing that I don’t know what it is
- -A tiny clay head sculpted by Joel Patton
- -A Stay Glossy lip gloss Rose color
- -A frosty pink lip gloss
- -A Color Stay lip liner Rose color
- -A two-sided lip gloss thing
- -One of those purse holder things you put on a table when you go out to lunch
- -a quarter
- -A lipstick
- -A zippered pouch with two bulldogs on it and one has a sequin collar
- -A bottle of anti-anxiety pills
- -A tampon where the wrapper came off
- -Another frosty lip gloss and another lip liner
- -Another lipstick
- -A black drawstring pouch for I’m not sure
- -An empty tube of Lanacort
- -Another contact lens
- -A green, red and white peppermint like when you take from a restaurant
- -A business card from Figaro in LA
- -A pen
- -A Bad Feminist button
- -A check for $100 dollars from my mom for my birthday THAT I TOTALLY FORGOT TO CASH, OBVI. WHOOPS
- -Another matchbook from Cole’s
- -The wrapper from the tampon.
- -A small bottle of “Pure Moist” Opti Free eyewash stuff
- -Another bottle of diet pills
- -Three dimes and a dollar coin
Things I learned: I have too much loose change and too many lip products in my purses. And too many things I should just throw away.
“Gray Area”: Not sure if I was supposed to make note of all the ‘grit’ at the bottom of my purse; i.e. sand, bits of dirt, glitter, rocks, paper, fuzz, etc. Cuz there was lots of that stuff and maybe it constitutes an “ingredient” if collected together as one item.
How I felt: I feel pretty gross, overall. And, like, desperate, for having so many ‘beauty products’ and also the diet pills. I feel like being a woman is wasted on me and that by letting you look in here, you will see that and be like, fuuucckkk.